Mushy Feelings

On a day to remind one and all that 30,000 people are dying of starvation every day, many highlights and memorable performances were to be enjoyed by the class of people world-wide who can afford cable and satellite TV’s and the luxury of that mushy feeling one gets when one is almost going to shed a tear but doesn’t. One performance in particular was reported however to have had a directly debilitating effect on the bird ecology of Australia. Biologists equipped with night vision binoculars spied deranged blackbirds sexually assaulting crocodiles upon hearing Bono of U2 strangling the lyrics “Blackbird singing in the dead of night…”

But all was not lost. Will Smith got to say, “Hi, I’m Will Smith” and fleshy tons of old rockers got to jiggle it one more time on specially enforced stages in a frail but determined Last Hurrah for Me and Canadians at Barrie that day, in a fit of spontaneous patriotism, managed to assure at least two more seats for the Bloc Quebecois in Parliament as they belted out a monotonal, unilingual version of the national anthem of this ever-so-meek and obsequious country.