Issue 10

By deferring to their lawyers (the last faction of society where one would expect to find champions of justice), daily newspaper editors and news producers at CBC and CTV have apparently found convenient excuses to ignore the lead story of Issue 9. While satisfying their publishers that they have protected their institutions from exposure to a civil suit their self-serving neglect puts members of the public at continued risk.

Ultimately, this is a form of sickly apathy, that kind of criminal neglect which for example creates a willingness on the part of a newspaper institution to run a bank ad on page one while a story appears on page 34 about that bank’s criminal affairs; and a story on the ethics of cashing that bank’s cheque will likely never appear.

Meanwhile, a gang of thugs operate with impunity intimidating reporters and Crown prosecutors, entrenching a spidery network ever deeper into a limp-along society which blithely believes in its self righteousness for supporting charity runs and whose more sanctimonious members exhort with their plastic trumpets a peculiar notion of ‘family values.’

Lawyers, given their clear record of deliberately obfuscating the problematic issues affecting a society’s evolution to a state of prevailing goodness (i.e. writing the clause which prevented the free flow of generic AIDS drugs to Africa), are the least expected to function as beacons of light and now it seems they are pulling Vancouver’s editors’ strings. No heroes in that dark play.

This issue number 10 of The English Bay Banner will, as a testament to this grotesque indifference of Vancouver’s common media, repeat the contents of last issue in the vague hope that more simmering might enliven a conscience somewhere.

“Where there is no publicity there is no justice.” Daniel Burnett, lawyer for Vancouver Sun.

Mayhem at Super Valu

Well known among regular staff at Super Valu on Davie Street is that alleged shoplifters were beaten in a back room by the dairy section of the store and polaroids* of their mangled faces were kept in the office supposedly to tip off the night shift to apprise them for whom to look out. But little could they have expected that at approximately 10 a.m. on Monday morning of May 1, 2000, Hells Angels’ member and store owner, Ross Maclellan - after being alerted by a cashier of a shoplifter attempting to exit the store with a small block of cheese - would erupt in a fit of rage, chasing the man down by the west entrance to the store and pummel his diseased body into a state of unconsciousness. After ramming the victim’s head into a President’s Choice pop machine by the exit passageway in full view of numerous witnesses both inside and passers-by outside the store, Maclellan continued his assault by repeatedly kicking the man until a profuse volume of blood was evident in the doorway and on the sidewalk.

(* “I have pictures to add a ring of truth to the above statements.” –see comment posted in issue #2)

One horrified female witness was crying out, “Call the police! I want this man charged with assault!” Inside the store, a frightened staff member called 911 and MacLellan then urged him to call them back and report that everything was fine, that the man would be OK, and not to bother the police to attend. Meanwhile, he asked another member of staff to bring his Jeep around from the front of the store to the back alley where he then fled to make his escape but not before instructing his manager to swab the blood way from the passageway of the store.

The ambulance arrived and urgently bundled the unconscious man away to St Paul’s hospital. The police arrived and began their note-taking. Eventually, days later, city detectives were to arrive and question a few of the staff.

Two days after the beating the victim died.

The police incident file was conveyed to the Crown for disposition re laying of charges. Despite the plethora of witnesses, the attendance of the ambulance paramedics, the doctors and nurses who witnessed the victim’s injuries, and the coroner’s report and the police report to Crown, no charges were laid against Maclellan.

Shortly after this incident Maclellan could be overheard bragging about his conduct to the representatives of Westfair Grocers, who sold him the franchise more than two decades ago.

Subsequent calls to Westfair Grocers by this writer resulted in the return call of franchise manager Brian Atkinson who, when being informed of the fact that their Davie Street franchisee was a member of the Hells Angels and had regularly been thrashing alleged shoplifters, said, “I can’t comment on this. I really can’t comment on any of this.”

Repeated calls to Loblaws CEO Galen Weston, ultimately the man responsible for supplying many of the goods these subsidiaries purvey, resulted in no return call. And repeated calls to President’s Choice foods, a subsidiary of Loblaws who also supply MacLellan, have resulted in no responses.

IF ANYTHING VIOLENT SHOULD BEFALL ME FOR HAVING REPORTED THIS… I ask that Mssrs Edward Greenspon and Doug Kelly, the editors of The Globe and Mail and The National Post respectively, publish a list of the names of every business in Canada which is currently owned by a member of the Hells Angels. And then to call for a national boycott of this group. This list can be procured from The RCMP as evidenced by the Vancouver Sun having printed the local list last September.

‘Death Mask’ below by MAYA KULENOVIC

Victim Cries Out for Justice! 

Numerous witnesses

While there have been several informants upon whom I have relied for the accuracy of this story, I have with respect to their security not published their names. Freedom of the press, it would seem, is being threatened by the prospect of intimidation and mortal violence.

Criminal gang members in the past have always managed to afford lawyers to hobble and encumber the efforts of people who would rid our society of these murderous hordes. What conscientious good Catholic or righteous thinking Jew could possibly explain their moral reasoning in defending Nazi-style tactics which result in manslaughter and mayhem? Remember the holocaust? What about also remembering our addicted teenaged sons and daughters who have died from the use of the drugs these gangs distribute? Right here under our noses. Tyranny doesn’t require a swastika and a goose-step to make its deadly imprint.


For free boycott poster, send email address to sales@lightstreambook.com Specify: 8.5" x 14" or 11' x 17". 

Corporate Indifference

The indifference of the executives of Loblaws, President’s Choice Foods, and Westfair Grocers has been no less than truly appalling. These institutions have Mission Statements and a Code of Ethics of grand scope blathering on about their generous contributions and the value of being good corporate citizens. Now you know, dear consumer, just precisely how much they could give a rat’s fesaris about this West End, Vancouver community. They continue to trade with Maclellan to this day.

I, for one, will never see another President’s Choice or Weston Foods product in my home ever again. The guilt of apathy has stained these executives as surely as did the blood on the boots of Ross Maclellan that grisly Monday in May.

This information about the vicious assault has been available to me for several weeks now but I felt it was necessary to be safely ensconced in a new pad, and appropriately equipped before I released it. The Vancouver police, though woefully understaffed with a contingent of one to look into gang and gang-member crimes, and the RCMP are both on alert now and we are all hopeful that you, dear reader, will make the right choice in where you shop appreciating the considerable risk taken by quite a number of people to get these details to you.

THE STAFF DILEMMA
Not all members of the current staff roster at Super Valu on Davie Street were in the know about these beatings. In my efforts to contact the Westfair Group I intended to raise this matter and in a previous issue I have appealed to Galen Weston to guarantee your jobs within his industry until a new franchisee can be found for your outlet. Meanwhile, however, in light of this report might I suggest it may behoove you to abandon the store. New management can be arranged sooner if everyone bails now.

RESPONSE OF COMMUNITY PILLARS
The West Ender newspaper has apparently joined the Davie Street Business Improvement Association in the business of sticking their heads deep in the sand on this boycott.

Xtra Magazine, that acutely politically aware newspaper for the happy.people has also managed to bury its editorial head on this issue. Is it possible the fabulous ones are distracted with upcoming Mr Leatherman contests? Heaven forbid the prospect of ruffling their feathered boas by challenging their community-minded priorities. But would it not be permissable perhaps to remind them that the west end is a community of more than just sexual issues?

Heads Stuck Somewhere 

Nary a Peep

Neither candidates for the legislature, Mr ‘Safe Streets’ Mayencourt nor Reverend Stevenson, has made any comment whatsoever about the presence of this deplorable situation at Super Valu. Maybe they shop there. Who knows?

And as to the churches? All quiet at those bastions of morality. Nary a peep.

All these neighbourhood beacons have opted to shine their mighty lights elsewhere.

DIDN’TJA KNOW? HELLS ANGELS ACTUALLY JUST A KNITTING CLUB

“In spite of the fact that some Hells Angels have been convicted of criminal activity, the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club is not involved in criminal activity in any way.”
–Rick Ciarnello, Vancouver Hells Angel Vancouver Chapter spokesperson.

And for all you true-believers, here you go…
FOR SALE BY THE GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK

Bridge
Governor declares New York State bankrupt. Opens bids on historic bridge.

Rare Opportunity 

Fire Sale cont'd.

Tower Structure - Stone masonry Suspension Bridge.
Installment of Tolls acceptable.
360 degree views.

Distance of roadbed above water - 135 feet
Height of Towers above high water- 276½ feet (JSG)
Height of Towers above roadway - 159 feet (JSG)
Height of Tower Arches above roadway - 117 feet (JSG)
Source of Granite - Quarries of J.R. Bodwell, Hallowell, Maine. (1872).
(The same stone was used in Tombs prison and the reservoir in Central Park)


Suspension Cables - four 15 3/4" diameter wire ropes.
Number of Strands in each cable - 19 (JSG)
Total Length of Wire in cables - approximately 3600 miles (JSG)
Miles of wrapping wire on each cable - 243 miles 943 feet (JSG)

Number of Suspenders - 1520 (JSG)
Number of Diagonal Stays - 400 (JSG)

Inventor and manufacturer of steel wire cable - John A. Roebling
Tested cable wire strength - 160 ksi
Dead weight of deck and suspenders - 13,240 kips - 3,410 kips per cable.
Maximum load on single cable (Live and Dead Load) - 6,000 kips

Ultimate strength of cables - 24,600 kips
Cable factor of safety - 24,600/6,000 = 4.1
Maximum cable sag - 130 feet

Brooklyn Bridge East River Span - 1595.5 feet
Supported land span - 930 feet.
Length of Brooklyn Approach - 971 feet
Length of New York Approach - 1562½ feet
Official Length end-to-end - 5,989 feet, 1.13 miles.

Width of Bridge Floor - 85 feet (JSG)
Width of Elevated Promenade - 15 feet 7 inches (JSG)
Height of Promenade above roadway - 11½ feet (JSG)
Thickness of wooden walkway boards - 1½ inches
Grade of roadway - 3¼ in 100 feet (JSG)

Total Weight of Bridge, excluding caissons, towers, anchorages - 14,680 tons (JSG)

World Record Status at Time of Completion:

Fifty percent longer than any suspension bridge (total length).
First use of pneumatic caissons.
First Steel Cable Suspension Bridge.

Date New York saloonkeeper Steve Brodie claimed to have made a daredevil plunge from the Bridge into the East River - July 23, 1886

Visible Integrity Makes a Cameo Appearance on the Hill

During this last hectic week in parliament, and amid all the acrimony and petty bickering which we have been paying for while nothing else is going on in the way of good government, five members of our federal legislature distinguished themselves as people who have principles and are willing to stand up for them. Agree with them or not, it is refreshing to see some semblance of personal integrity becoming visible in that ‘wreck-room’ we call Parliament.

CHUCK CADMAN
Cadman's 16-year-old son Jesse was murdered on October 18, 1992. He and his wife Dona later founded a group to lobby the government to increase sentences in criminal cases, particularly for young offenders. He was first elected to Parliament for Surrey North in the 1997 election as a member of the Reform Party of Canada. He was reelected under the banner of the Canadian Alliance in the 2000 election, and was appointed Justice Critic.

The Gum-Chewing King of Canada (for a day) 

Country's King for a Day cont'd.

Cadman was again reelected in the 2004 election and was the only candidate not affiliated with a party to win a seat.

Carolyn Parrish
Reprimanded by the prime minister for her anti-Bush comments, Parrish says ideas she espouses on controversial issues are entirely her own. Originally a Liberal she now sits as an Independent. Despite her previous wars of words with P Martin and Co she voted to pass the budget, siding with her old party, but more importantly serving her constituents.

Carolyn Parrish with unidentified Secret Agent 

Stand-outs cont'd.

After thrashing George Bush and his war-mongering fellows, "That country is completely out of step with most of the free world." She added, "I speak openly and honestly on a wide variety of topics of interest to my constituents and to many other Canadians."

David Kilgour
Mr Kilgour believes in a stronger voice for Canada in the world. He advocates strengthening our human rights commitments and engaging in multilateral peacekeeping and peace-building efforts. He has been instrumental in bringing the situation in countries like Burma, Vietnam and Zimbabwe to the forefront of Canadian foreign policy and he works with NGO’s from around the world to promote the advancement of human rights.

In December of 1994, Kilgour’s efforts to promote human rights in Vietnam were acknowledged by the Committee for the release of Political Prisoners in Vietnam.

Kilgour is also passionate about Rwanda and ensuring that the atrocities committed there in the mid-90’s are never repeated. He counts Gen. Romeo Dallaire as one of his personal heroes and in April 2004 participated in the Canadian delegation sent to the 10th anniversary remembrance ceremonies.

Hence his demands from the Liberals that their commitment to bringing peace and relief to Darfur be increased before his vote might be won. He voted against his party, prepared to take the heat if the government fell.

Jack Layton
Who can argue with these conditions before Layton threw his party’s support of the government? The deal between the Liberals and the NDP included:
• $1.6 billion for affordable housing construction, including aboriginal housing.
• A $1.5-billion increase in transfers to provinces for tuition reduction and better training through EI.
• $900 million for the environment, with one more cent of the federal gas tax going to public transit.
• $500 million for foreign aid to bring Canada in line with a promise of 0.7 per cent of GDP.
• $100 million for a pension protection fund for workers.

Ed Broadbent
He spoke up and offered to stand down from the vote in order to pair with a Conservative parliamentarian who was too sick to attend thus neutralizing his NDP vote. Class.

Dan Brown's Dubious Halo

Have you read a book which involves:

*a code hidden in DaVinci's The Last Supper, referring to a holy bloodline issuing from Jesus;
*the Dead Sea Scrolls and their connection to this bloodline;
*the use of the atbash code as a plot device;
*the church as antagonistic to this revelation ever coming to light and so on.

If you think I’m talking about The D Code, you’re wrong.

If you want the real goods, read the original holy bloodline novel which features an encoded secret hidden in the The Last Supper, employs the atbash as a plot device and calls on the content of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and discusses the ramifications of a living avatar. Read LightStream, copyright 2001 (one year before The DaVinci Code).

The Original DaVinci Code?

I started writing LightStream (released in 1996 as The Living Avatara) back in 1985 shortly after reading the pivotal book The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. I knew authors Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln had not proven their case for a holy bloodline proceeding from Jesus but they had made a fascinating lunge into this new and thrilling area of scholarship. Their achievement was to raise questions and issues which had previously been touched upon thousands of years ago in The Dead Sea Scrolls and even Vedic literature where can be found mentions of enigmatic Righteous Teachers and avatars.

Their research had driven me deeper into my own exploration of holy scriptures both traditionally accepted and others sidelined by religious dogmatists in an effort to find any hint of evidence for such a bloodline. Also, it was equally important to me to explore the possibility of the inheritance of spiritual power. With these two theological ideas to work around I invented a storyline which included Leonardo's greatest works and codes he hid therein, The Dead Sea Scrolls, the Holy Bloodline as it may appear today and the involvement of threatening church establishments. Sound familiar? Well, if you've read The DaVinci Code it should. And for those of you intellectuals and enjoyers of original works you should also know, by your empathy, pretty much how it feels to have your life's work recklessly borrowed from.

Is it wise for me to cry, "J'accuse!"? I suggest you examine the text analysis on the web site and come to your own decision but more importantly why not read the work of the writer who introduced the secret of DaVinci's The Last Supper and employed the atbash as a plot device? Read LightStream. After all, isn't the concept of a Holy Bloodline far too important to trust to the appearance of something suspect? -Harry Langen

http://www.lightstreambook.com

Lightstream has the potential to change the way we view the history of humankind. It maps a course to enter into an intimate relationship with the personality of the infinite.

And as to all these new theologies that have been converging, roiling and bottling up their narrow intellectual canyons, LightStream is clearly the dambreaker.


WORTH REPEATING
Clones in Newcastle and Korea?

AN ACHIEVEMENT: The embryo three days after nuclear transfer took place as seen in this picture released on Friday. Scientists at Newcastle University have cloned the human embryo for the first time. — AP

LONDON: Scientists who were awarded Britain's first licence for human cloning say they had succeeded in creating a cloned embryo for the first time in the country.
The Newcastle University scientists said on Thursday they had successfully produced an early stage embryo cloned from a human cell using nuclear transfer.

Tinkering with a Human Embryo to Save Lives 

Cloning cont'd.

Britain, which four years ago became the world's first country to license cloning to create stem cells, is aiming to join South Korea on the leading edge of the research, which many scientists believe may lead to treatments for many diseases.

The Newcastle researchers were granted a licence in August by Britain's Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority. Ian Wilmut, creator of Dolly the sheep, was later granted a licence earlier this year to clone embryos as part of his research into motor neuron disease.

The Newcastle researchers hope eventually to create insulin-producing cells that could be transplanted into diabetics.

Two of the team, Alison Murdoch and Dr. Miodrag Stojkovic, said they were "delighted" by the Koreans' progress.

"They have shown conclusively that these techniques can be successful in humans," they said. "The promise of new treatments based on stem cell technology is moving nearer to becoming a realistic possibility."

The researchers are not using cloning to make babies. Instead, scientists create test-tube embryos to supply stem cells, the building blocks which give rise to every tissue in the body and which are a genetic match for a particular patient, preventing rejection by the immune system.

If scientists could harness the regenerative power of those stem cells, they might be able to repair damage from spinal cord injuries, diabetes, Parkinson's and other diseases. — AP

Cutting a Clear Path Across the New Mountains which Lean on my Sky  

Your Life Breath I hold

I am the language of Eden rediscovered.
The scrolls of the Kings of Peace uncovered.

I am the example of goodness
The rewards of righteousness,
The balance in your excellent gait
And the fire of a week of days’ brightness.

I am enthusiasm
The father of Thusiast.
To the bafflers I am the wherefore and the whereas
But i take my pleasure as the King of Spring in Paris.

I am the stuff of your mind which is orderly
And the pleasure you feel in your generosity.
I am the knowledge in which a man may abide
And the child so precious kibitzing wild.

Across my face are rivers of compassion.
You see, I love you all with an unyielding passion.

I build and structure, let loose and align
A spirit of freedom supremely fine.

The source of the fountains am I!
The gusher of streams!
I am you see, the Rivergod, even he,
Who cuts a clear path across new mountains leaning on my sky.

I am Paracletus!
Creator of the divine spirit
Of which your heart is mold.
In my hands your life-breath I hold.

© R Harry Langen (see poster below)

Support this site? 11" x 17" signed colour poster: $12. Order through "donation" button.  


Web Hit Counters

Issue 8.  

HEY CLERGY? WHAT’S THE BUZZ?!

Talk about trading in the temple. The movement afoot to unionize the clergy of the United Church gained momentum this week. This halo-rattling concept has some very peculiar ramifications which are patently inconsistent with the idea of the selfless man of God ministering to his flock. But as one hears of the plight of so many ministers of that church being the victims of parishioner abuse, long hours, and an unhealthy environment of stress and conflict then the idea of increasing their compensation becomes more palatable.

But the more we define ministering as a job the less likely it will be viewed as a vocation.

When we start to bean-count the value of ministerial service we risk trivializing the minister and his circumstances, reducing him to the status of another worker bee who must consult with his fellow bees (including nuisance parishioners) about every little iota of their work. This is what would inevitably happen when one attempts to place a mercenary value on the delivery of religious services. The idea of anything the minister does as being sacred gets thrown out along with the holy bathwater.

And the siege mentality unions are so experienced at crafting in the workplace to bring pressure to bear upon the evil employers (that would be the churches now) is also an inevitability. And instead of using students or patients as hostages in their bargaining tactics the unions get to use parishioners. Pity the poor pilgrims.

Injecting money into a religious environment does not bode well for the likelihood of a divine outcome. Marriages have always carried an implicit cost in fees. Now baptisms will cost. Will there be a charge for blessing the church-going flock? Will that be cash or chargex?

And Buzz Hargrove, the pugilistic advocate for workers everywhere who likes to think of himself as most humane (to the exclusion of course of welfare recipients and non-union members), acting as the reverends’ representative in discussions with the church is a strange bedfellow indeed. This guy is the president of the Canadian Auto Workers of Canada. Since when did the ministers need a tune-up, or a soulful lube job?

Looking askance at union membership. 

Buzzing Clergy cont'd.

But who knows? If the Catholics can fast-track Karel Wojtyla to sainthood, then why not commission those Vatican tailors and get Buzz a nifty archbishop’s robe and mitre? Maybe steal a little cardinal’s cap while you’re there, Buzz?

As to our Catholic friends, heaven forbid that priests begin to think along the same lines. The Jesuits and the Franciscans would have to take their leave altogether as they have taken vows of poverty. The consecrating of the Eucharist would be reserved for only card-carrying members of the auto union. Last Rites would no longer be administered to a non-union member and fees for Confirmation would be introduced to assure that no welfare scurvy get to pretend they’re holier than thou. But at least Buzz would have a sympathetic ear in the confessional, knowing he’s confiding in a brother after all. Not much different than what union goons do after pulverizing scabs.

Yup. The new clergy. Truly inspirational images come to mind: Strikers with posters chanting, “In God we trusted. Butt Buzz pays the bills!” and “Blessed are the union members for they get paid more.”
Mark my words: If they’re talking about it and it involves money, it’s going to happen no matter how much wheel-spinning, tire-kicking and test-driving has to transpire first. The Canadian Auto Workers Union is about to subsume a huge new constituency and the Canadian religious mosaic will have lost a big chunk of its appeal.

Bottom line? Less prayer, discussion of morality and righteous action and more greed and stress in another workplace. And to express our heartfelt gratitude, let’s all take a collection and buy Buzz a nice new ring to kiss.

FROM THE STREET TO THE PRISONS

A recent PBS special ‘The New Asylums’ reported that 500,000 mentally ill are incarcerated in U.S. prisons and jails. Many arrive there through a judicial process that prosecutes them for shoplifting, then theft, possibly resisting arrest (an easily trumped up charge by abusive and unhappy law enforcement sorts) and minor parole violations.

The extremely poor person trying to eek out his survival relying on the largesse of today’s meanspirited and judgemental society often finds himself at the mercy of a series of impatient bureaucrats and enforcers who’d rather just make him become invisible. No more panhandling please, no loitering, no sitting around in front of a business being a nuisance. No reminding us of your plight and my society’s failure to appreciate your personal circumstances. Is it any wonder a lot of these unfortunate people are driven quite mad? And once they are deemed to be acting out, their behaviour can very quickly be considered a danger. This begins that miserable process of cajoling them into prisons.

Vancouver, just this year, thanks to a so-called Liberal member of the provincial legislature, Lorne Mayencourt drafting the Safe Streets Law, has witnessed the hilarious proposition of the city cops trying to fine the poor people for ‘aggressive’ panhandling. This is the first step to criminalizing the poor. And they are all baby steps after that to sweep them into prison where they will, thankfully for the elitists, be out of sight and mind.

Prison guards are witnessing every day in both the United States and Canada what uselessness it is in terms of rehabilitation to incarcerate the mentally ill, or those people who are just supremely pissed at the system which has marked them as criminals. We as taxpayers could save millions (if not billions) of dollars not sending these people into a lifelong merry-go-round in the judicial system if we were to address their personal needs in the first place. It is morally incumbent upon a reasonably well-to-do society to look after its poor and the way this would seem to be most efficiently tackled would be to provide them opportunities to work, after situating them in a home of some meagre comfort.

Social housing and jobs we hear about at every election time, but with unions covering their own pocketbooks so thoroughly that they don’t permit welfare recipients to take certain menial jobs if they’re not members then it’s an uphill battle all the way to the first paycheck. And providing housing to an employable person who isn’t given the chance to enjoy the dignity of work, is a bitter comfort as it reinforces their reliability on charity.

Bishop Buzz Hargrove? 

From the Streets to the Prisons cont'd.

If people like union leader Buzz Hargrove, author of Labour of Love, Toward a Humane Canadian Society, expect to be taken seriously as a social reformer then he’s going to have to include the plight of the non-union member and the welfare recipients and the extremely poor who have been hounded off welfare. Union dues are probably more than these people see all month.

But as it stands, I don’t recall any union executives howling in protest against this Safe Streets Law which will find our prisons burgeoning with the new victims of our indifferent and very inhumane society.

Bottom Line: We don’t care if it costs us more to penalize and imprison these people. It’s enough to get them out of our sight. And just how humane is that Mr Hargrove? Maybe you can ask your confessor after he becomes a paying union member.

Getting Their Man

Who could forget this week the TV report showing police firing off dozens of rounds of live ammo at an unarmed American SUV driver who had obviously pissed them off during his free-for-all driving binge? More than 100 shots fired through his windshield, at his doors, tires, at him and when the gang of cops physically pounced on the wounded man like footballers celebrating a victory, they handcuffed him and bully-marched him into custody. Boy, they sure got their man. These cops looked like they were all suffering some sort of mob frenzy and considering that they each were using mortal force it sure gave me pause about who’s holding those guns.

There must have been a discount at Martin Short’s Academy for Wayward GunToters and Would Be Mavericks to qualify this load of trigger-happy grunts.

Then we have the report of Guantanamo Bay atrocities to add to our file on prisoner abuses in the War Against Terrorists. And for anybody getting confused as to what that war is all about, be sure to ask an American prison interrogator as he inflicts terror and torture upon the Guantanamo inmates, aka the “detainees” (called that so that they don’t have to be treated as prisoners of war under the Geneva convention). The lesson of Abu Ghraib seems to have been misplaced already. So much for the world-wide indignation about that atrocity. Obviously Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld’s employees are having far too much fun to concern themselves about human rights and international law. (See Amnesty International's take on this story, below.)

Importing the "War on Terror" From Abu Ghraib to Guantanamo 

Amnesty International's Take on Guantanamo Atrocity

Hypocrisy, an overarching war mentality and a disregard for basic human rights principles and international legal obligations continue to mark the USA's "war on terror". Serious human rights violations are the inevitable result.

The detention camp at the US Naval Base in Guantánamo Bay in Cuba has become a symbol of the US administration’s refusal to put human rights and the rule of law at the heart of its response to the atrocities of 11 September 2001. Hundreds of people of around 35 different nationalities remain held in effect in a legal black hole, many without access to any court, legal counsel or family visits.

As evidence of torture and widespread cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment mounts, it is more urgent than ever that the US Government bring the Guantánamo Bay detention camp and any other facilities it is operating outside the USA into full compliance with international law and standards. The only alternative is to close them down. –Amnesty International

THE ILLUSION OF SECURITY

Retirement for US workers just isn't what it used to be. Forget the gold watch and reliable pension check after 30 years of service. The impact of globalization and competition from low-wage companies that don't provide benefits has shifted the onus of retirement security from larger firms onto individuals.

Twenty years ago, 40 percent of American workers were covered by traditional pensions known as defined-benefit plans. Today that number's dropped to 20 percent. As the Bethlehem Steel and United Airlines examples show, even that 20 percent may not be able to count on what they've been promised. Currently, about 75 percent of those corporate plans are underfunded. "There are numerous threats to retirement in the future," says Brad Belt, executive director of the PBGC. "So it's incumbent on individuals to be well informed, prudent about their investments, and to save accordingly."

To get a sense of the impact of the pension crisis on individuals, Pilots, who by law must retire at 60, could see their retirement income cut by 75 percent.
- Alexandra Marks, The Christian Science Monitor

Hijacking pension funds. 

Making Your Money Disappear

Do these corporations know no limit to their bottom feeding? Ordinary individuals with families and long term and sterling records of employment are now going to lose the lion’s share of what they had been promised over decades. So much for security in retirement or any semblance of integrity at the corporate level.

It is expected now that United Airlines has gotten away with disposing of their pension fund payout responsibilities, other airlines and miscellaneous mega-corporations will follow suit.

This sort of blatant thievery reminds me of those South American banks closing their doors to its depositors when the crap hit the fan. And banks all over the world have the same arrogance and haughtiness, that impossible high-handedness (even in rural Peru) that somehow excuses them in stealing your money surreptitiously with fees then outright closure if the dire circumstances arise… but not before of course the faceless executives get to dig deep. No wonder they spend so much of our money advertising back to us.

These reports do serve one function: dispelling the illusions of security we live by.

Enlightenable People

A speculative new assessment of people most likely to approach and experience enlightenment.

© R Harry Langen

Brahma, one of history's myriad enlightened deities. Are you enlightenable?  

A Speculative List

Educated
Must be informed well enough not to be easily waylaid by wrongheaded ideas.

Single
No distractions from one’s private and intense relationship to the infinite.

Healthy
No abiding ailments to disturb one’s appreciation of well being.

No pets or children
Not only distractions of a daily and significant sort but bearing children prior to one’s own emancipation is an invitation to emotional and spiritual disaster. Pets can also tend to become love objects.

Self-employed
Not exposing oneself to the dictates of an unenlightened person every day.

Unattached to excessively luxurious possessions
False pride in baubles of any kind is the antithesis of freedom.

Avidly literate
Exposing oneself to many ideas helps in expanding and readying the mind. Similar to working a muscle.

Loose in opinions/not stiff-necked and of generally a positive attitude.

More next week.

"The flowering arbutus heralds the trembling ground and angry waters abound. A frenzied wind across the forests tells of a looming ferocity."


HORRORSCOPES
by Ms Urble


Trust Ms Urble to straighten them all out! 

(Read at your own risk)

Aries - (March 21-April 19)
Try not to make any enemies now for a fortnight. Pluto’s on a rampage and will be in your house late this week after he abuses Olive Oyl. During this same period, disapproval from authorities and relations with your wife’s sister are in the cards. It’s a lousy hand and may cause a life-upheaval especially given the fact that the name of your sister-in-law’s husband is Mars.

Taurus - (April 20-May 20)
If you refuse to get engaged, you're protected; if you get engaged, you abandon all hope. So while Pluto is preoccupied with the pathetic Olive Oyl, disengage from all covetous thoughts of Pluto’s younger brother. For six days, your books will be in the black and charitable thoughts cross your mind as briefly as the lifespan of a wasp making a beeline to an electrocuting rod. Plan for chaos. Do not endeavour to reattach moth wings during a full moon.

Gemini - (May 21-June 20)
Your energy's on somebody’s back burner but your charm rises with every new pill. Chase money Sunday and plan for travel after your schemes go awry. Frustrate the feds when they show uninvited on your cusp and have no shame rushing to judgement of Popeye’s infidelities. Eat his spinach with an oily spoon on the evening of the eclipse.

Cancer - (June 21-July 22)
Pessimism continues to visit you, but ever onward. Beware of the obsequious bearing Moses teeth but vote for grinners and howlers after they retreat from the House of Jupiter. Despite your growing malaise, your love of hamburgers grows more secretive for the rest of May. Ask Wimpy for counselling but promise him nothing. Otherwise, all the red meat will be taken and there’s only one toothbrush.

Leo - (July 23-Aug. 22)
Pursue your illusions. Risk all, deepen your debt until mid-July. Then declare bankruptcy to leverage your spiritual pivot zone. Take this advice to heart after signing waiver. The same goes for your sexual investments – absolute foolhardiness is in demand now and your star is rising. Use more V but no KY. It’s a postmark not a scar. Lick that envelope.

Virgo - (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Bosses, authorities and parents view you with disdain if not outright contempt. Beaming with radiant pride probably ill-advised. Hire professional excuse-maker on the sabbath and send Madonna a few vibes for good luck. Her Kabbalistic training will assure a response but she’ll charge. The bill will be detailed beyond a reasonable minutia but that’s the way she likes it. It’s all there in the akasha. Propose. She may be willing now that the pope is deceased.

Libra - (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Visitors from the clubhouse are coming over - be prepared! Luminol the back room! Ask Leah the Unhelpful to repent, but as she comes by her moniker for good reason it may be a chore. Justice will prevail, if he comes out of the closet on time. Make vroom vroom sounds to make like you’re impressed and hold your nose and blink when the wind breaks. Wear new colours. No joy in the old chaps. Back alleys hold promise.

Scorpio - (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You are who you are in Relationship to Angels from the Melchizedek Tribe. Assume prime importance. Leap to the challenge but leave the upper echelons to the Caped Squirrels. The rest of May heightens your charms despite your futile attempt to divine the actual meaning of that Libra visitor you had yesterday. Melchi is twisted and he sings off key from the Book of Your Ants. Ask the library for a refund.

Sagittarius - (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Your toodling attitude might serve you well under the reef but the firmament is over your head. It’s all akimbo since you started thinking in parallel dance steps and going vroom vroom on the layover is embarrassing to your chick. No more upskirt shots with that Pentacle lens unless you like slowbroiled headcheese. Tension and sweet harmonies give you pause until you pick up the cheque. Your wallet is withering what with all that sweetbread that went sour on the open market. Vote for Harpists on the Back Swing and watch for inflamed Tigers off the Cut. Placate with sponsorship offer. Send for a French Canadian to push the envelopes.

Capricorn - (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Shine on dewy moon, this is your lucky week. The sitters are overharvesting and you're on a tear with new equipment! Hail hail, the gang is not all here and you have moments of grace to pursue your own creative projects. Tackle these with utmost precision on Monday/Tuesday. Feelings blossom Wednesday to Friday. Don’t open a surprising money message which might come late this week. It’s an offer you want to refuse from the wind-breakers. Wear lavender to discourage unwanted advances. Expect some relief from West Nile pests with brainburning Deet. Virus okayed for dissemination according to Hobson’s Choice rules.

Aquarius -(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Money flows swiftly back up the Nile Virus. You could make a bundle but your account’s tied up with penalties emanating from the fine print. Don’t be cryptic, call on Elvis for rewrite. Expect visitation at midnight on the mark from the evil Friday. Practise laughter to divest the fatty cinnamon rolls of their cynicism. Smile heartily in the face of the consternated caped squirrel left behind by Scorpio. Know this: All light and pleasure belongs to the brave, and the righteous. Foil the enemy of Light. Trample fear. Then drain the bug juice from between your hooves. Chew the leather, stamp the infidel, champ at her bit. Don’t underestimate your toenails despite their low esteem. Pay her extra for a pedophile.

THE AGE OF NESCIENCE

(An excerpt from LightStream, chapter entitled Puzzles, © R Harry Langen)


Literacy is freedom.  

It came to pass that as the garden diminished, demigods arose. These individuals would claim certain territories and impose their systems upon the people forcing them to live within the arbitrary boundaries of the demigod’s region.

Hoarding of food began and monetary systems invented so in order to eat, service to the demigod was required. Now man was forced into submissiveness by whichever brutal captain he labored under. So private property was invented to delineate each demigod’s territory. War became common not only between these leaders and their blood-thirsty enemies, but war between neighbors arose as man’s spirit was restive and frustrated. Fear ruled. Caste systems were created. Slave generations ensued to serve the will of the demigods. Ancient grudges came into being. New languages were invented as tribes of people remained isolated in distant lands.

People not only lost their knowledge of proper gardening but as the animals were no longer handled with respect, they too became ill and the food chains became polluted. The bodies of the people became infected and so generations of damaged genes ensued.

Their need to love God was masked in the creation of rituals and icon-worshipping. In their hearts they trembled with fear, privately aware something was missing. Their mortality terrified them and as days and months passed their fear increased, their health diminished until at the threshold of death, they withered completely, babbling inanities, their death processes long and full of horror.

The wealthy classes created abominations as they were driven to fill their lives with anything which might distract them from their inevitable fate. Generation after generation would emulate the previous generation, convinced that it was correct to hoard wealth. Like units on a train, everybody following this unexamined living, hurrying ultimately to their useless demise.

Satan was invented, a most useful character to whom blame for living inside iniquity could be ascribed. How easily they could deceive themselves and others now, attributing to this invention of Satan a personality, a source of evil substance.

Leading Another Generation in the Grim Funeral March 

Age of Nescience cont'd.

God hears these cries and Himself nearly weeps as He is not inclined to enforce His children to escape this ocean of morbidity into which they have been plunged and are now drowning. The Lord of the Garden made Himself scarce. It would be folly to attempt a revolution when the will of man was so extremely prevalent. On occasion, the Lord would make His will known, only to be met with disaster. He was murdered every time.

Mankind could not fill the world with his sea of darkness as nature herself yet demanded a certain balance, so man by necessity acquiesced to some standards of life: balance and labor in concert with life.

Some religious thought returned and original and true words were occasionally issued, sometimes emanating from the clandestine Lord. But organizations grew around these holy words until their original intent was obscured by people claiming themselves to be mediators – a role exclusively reserved by God the Father for His Son the Lord.

So back into the bowels of something satanic was man the miserable beaten again. Sometimes it appeared all hope was lost. But God the Father remained at hand through earnest, private prayer. His grace and the comfort of His presence was known by those few of His children who longed for human peace on earth and the actual return of the Edenic atmos. A climate of humanity had been entirely relegated to mythology – the mists of time having hidden from memory the joyous era of the climate of love.

The face of chaos was by many ages of man being outlined… its mammoth presence even literally blocking the light of the sun. It is monstrous and it consumes as if sucking the souls of the iniquitous. Soon, the only way out, will be for the righteous to hide together in the forests, living most quietly as they plot to make passable the way of the Lord, and the reclamation of Eden

They are the heroes. And they are few.

Issue 7. Appearing every Sunday. Your comments are welcome.  

The Look-at-Me Industry

Whatever would befall Vancouver if we lost interest in the Look-at-Me Industry? Rentals of couches by talent scouts would dry up; talent agencies forced to find innumerable boxes for all those glassy 8 x 10’s for relocation would threaten the world’s supply of cardboard; would-be extras in pop movies and videos would have to find another city in which to spend 12 hours waiting in line to get soaked; newspaper publishers might leap off tall buildings faster than a speeding bullet as advertising revenues take a faster dive; A-list actors and A+ list directors, the very gods themselves, would pull up stakes and transfer their 20 million dollar allowances elsewhere. And low crime against heaven itself, The Georgia Straight would no longer have a raison d’etre!

How could we survive without another manifesto from mystic Madonna? Or an update on the enumeration of the pubic hairs of a Bread Pit? Would Usher ever deign to talk to anyone over 30 again? 20? The Bay Department store would file for bankruptcy for lack of Liz Taylors to toodle on down the aisles with overhauled boobs a’jingling with diamonds and eco-scary perfumes to peddle.

First Prize in the Look-at-Me Ad Infinitum Category 

Exiting Stage Left!

The very fabric of our sneermeister’s society would fray at the edges until all claims of pretence at beauty and magnificence would become facile. Elitists of the Look-at-Me Industry would be so panicked that in their desperate charge to exit stage left, they’d trample and stumble over all those nouveau nobodies and forget in their haste to remove the evidence of the knives in all those embroidered backs they’d left behind. One hug too many, eh Brutus?

And Lord almighty! Shine your special mercy on the supremely intellectual souls of the devoted CBC producers and broadcasters who wouldn’t know when to take gracious leave of a 1 billion buck a year private party if doomsday were falling upon it. Plead to the heavens with ardor and conviction that all those canucklehead writers and actors pretending to be as important as all those other writers and actors of the Yankee persuasion that they be spared the ignominy of unemployment! Beseech the paltry few Canadian viewers left who might make a collective effort to write a fan letter in support of layer #62 of pretence and banality, aka Canadian comedy or TV drama. Isn’t it, after all, the meekheaded Canadian way to blithely support the meager offerings of unfunny practitioners of something akin to a slapstuck genre?

But perchance I am folly for, but, lo! Here be words of a celebrity!

“I've got a talent to act. No matter what any newspaper says about me, I am one of the most sensitive human beings on earth, and I know it.” - Jean-Claude van Damme

When your eyes become unglued from the screen try reading something exciting.  

Lips Emitting

Is it possible I err?

“Filipinos want beauty. I have to look beautiful so that the poor Filipinos will have a star to look at from their slums.”
-Imelda Marcos

And who would dare dispute the shoe-hoarding queen? Blasphemy!

And were but an intelligible quote to emit from the quivering lips of Paris Hilton it would be inserted here as proper defense of A-List wunderkinds. But we do offer this:
“I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys.”
-Dennis Rodman

And now that your appetite has been whetted, how’s this:

“I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure.” -Michael Flatley

“More please, God, we want more!” you scream? OK.

“I’d like to become the first female president – that would be really cool. The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House…” Thank you, Jennifer Lopez.

Toe fetish anyone? Only Imelda knows for sure. 

Hopeful Research

Rumour has it that a privately funded research foundation is working 24/7 to find an antidote for the inevitable withdrawals that hundreds of thousands of Vancouverites will experience when the faces of Sylvester Stallone, Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson melt. If you are suffering any anxiety or acute fretfulness as to this impending transmogrification, you are advised to appear at midnight and begin the cue at B.C. Place stadium awaiting the coming of Dr Phil on Marshal MacLuhan’s specially designed Lear jet, the arrival of which all and sundry (mostly sundry) will be notified by the appearance of an Oprah blimp rising out of the bowels of the stadium to the celestial sounds of Celine Dion singing “O Magazine Forever.”

But if your situation is urgent and you need immediate attention, the Banner has set up a special hotline: 1.772.388.4072. Got that?

But for the moment it appears that this foggy-headed little town of ours will continue to host these cherished souls of this sacrosanct universe unto itself and members of the common media need not contemplate the dire alternatives at the thought of any such undue evacuations. Besides, the very notion of returning to the reporting of real news is enough to give a man assuaged by the nearness of greatness a serious head-rattle. And the boatload of trillions of dollars this congregation of dazzling stars generates in the world is not to be sneered at, especially by some measly upstart suggesting human values might be at risk. No, no, no. Vancouver’s share of this bounty must not be impinged upon by the egregious grandstanding of an over-forty moralist. Dispatch that uninvited party-crasher back to the streets to be among his own, the burgeoning numbers of homeless and hungry, the mentally ill becoming sicker from massive neglect and the diseased who are at risk of being pulverized by grocery store owners while the cops harangue the homeless in their enforcement of the safe streets law. And who wants to hear from seniors on welfare being criminalized with fraud charges as they accept gifts from their families to make it through another day? Dispatch the silly nuisance of a scribe with all the authority of a Lady Macbeth, “Out damned spot! Out!” Because surely our Vancouver economy must not risk either trickling downward or in any measure flowing haphazardly into the coffers of a socially conscientious society. Especially if such a movement were to offend the sensiblilties of our celebrities.

In theatres of late, he doth protest too much? 

"I'm not conceited..."

How would we survive without the prognostications and utterances of Usher with side glimpses of his six-pack, or could we seriously make it through to dinnertime without knowing that Tom Cruise is kissing up a storm most publicly (and that would be with a woman), or do you really think you could live without the stuff of this dazzler…

“I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.” -David Lee Roth

And now that CNN is angling to sweep the tabloid journalism awards this year with stories of unbridled runaways, the day is nigh that stories of aliens camping in your nostrils will be yesterday’s news in a wink as it is sidelined by the one about how all the frogs in the world just became extinct but by lunchtime Madonna will have elbowed that story to the bottom column in favour of her latest CD offering, “Look at me again you covetous philistines.”

For signed editions of my barf bucket, find the donation button and dig deep.

Paul Martin declares 2005
The Year of the Veteran

A Worthless Gesture to Disabled Veterans