Whatever would befall Vancouver if we lost interest in the Look-at-Me Industry? Rentals of couches by talent scouts would dry up; talent agencies forced to find innumerable boxes for all those glassy 8 x 10’s for relocation would threaten the world’s supply of cardboard; would-be extras in pop movies and videos would have to find another city in which to spend 12 hours waiting in line to get soaked; newspaper publishers might leap off tall buildings faster than a speeding bullet as advertising revenues take a faster dive; A-list actors and A+ list directors, the very gods themselves, would pull up stakes and transfer their 20 million dollar allowances elsewhere. And low crime against heaven itself, The Georgia Straight would no longer have a raison d’etre!
How could we survive without another manifesto from mystic Madonna? Or an update on the enumeration of the pubic hairs of a Bread Pit? Would Usher ever deign to talk to anyone over 30 again? 20? The Bay Department store would file for bankruptcy for lack of Liz Taylors to toodle on down the aisles with overhauled boobs a’jingling with diamonds and eco-scary perfumes to peddle.
2 comments:
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