But who knows? If the Catholics can fast-track Karel Wojtyla to sainthood, then why not commission those Vatican tailors and get Buzz a nifty archbishop’s robe and mitre? Maybe steal a little cardinal’s cap while you’re there, Buzz?
As to our Catholic friends, heaven forbid that priests begin to think along the same lines. The Jesuits and the Franciscans would have to take their leave altogether as they have taken vows of poverty. The consecrating of the Eucharist would be reserved for only card-carrying members of the auto union. Last Rites would no longer be administered to a non-union member and fees for Confirmation would be introduced to assure that no welfare scurvy get to pretend they’re holier than thou. But at least Buzz would have a sympathetic ear in the confessional, knowing he’s confiding in a brother after all. Not much different than what union goons do after pulverizing scabs.
Yup. The new clergy. Truly inspirational images come to mind: Strikers with posters chanting, “In God we trusted. Butt Buzz pays the bills!” and “Blessed are the union members for they get paid more.”
Mark my words: If they’re talking about it and it involves money, it’s going to happen no matter how much wheel-spinning, tire-kicking and test-driving has to transpire first. The Canadian Auto Workers Union is about to subsume a huge new constituency and the Canadian religious mosaic will have lost a big chunk of its appeal.
Bottom line? Less prayer, discussion of morality and righteous action and more greed and stress in another workplace. And to express our heartfelt gratitude, let’s all take a collection and buy Buzz a nice new ring to kiss.
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