Having conferred with members of the local RCMP, the mayor expects to showcase some pre-pubescent working gals outdoors under the newly dimmed lamplights on the nights when the ladies will be brawling with ex-hubbies indoors at the arena. Intermissions and half time shows will feature cock fights, dwarf-pitching and size contests among the self-esteem challenged.
Gerhardt Speer, grandson of Albert, has been consigned the task of drawing up the coliseum's architectural designs but Kingsley hastens to add that the building itself will concur with all current earthquake and blood-drainage bylaws currently in place for Prince George.
In its slower seasons when gladiators’ rosters are being refilled, Mawlin’ has it in mind to offer ambidextrous lumberjacks a chance to compete in grizzly deballocking contests. To prep for this unusual form of rivalry, local environmentalists have been invited to don bear costumes and share some quality time with lumberjacks in the arena.
As to Kinglsey’s unwavering belief in the prospects of his very own Coliseum, he has this to offer, “If I build it they will come.”
Caligula couldn’t have said it better.
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